just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
