Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
