I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
His nipple licking is glorious
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