I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
