ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
