He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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