When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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