Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
