I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
