apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
