She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
