Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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