sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
