Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
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You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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