walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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