God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Randomize
