today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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