Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
