if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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