im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
