Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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