I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
