he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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