I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
