i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
