Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
