I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
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I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..