please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize