the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
