When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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