38 yer olds are good kisserssss
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize