I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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