I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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