There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
