i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
