God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize