Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
