It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
