3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
