What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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