I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
