Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
