Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
