You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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