one word: firstdatebathroomanal
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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