I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize