Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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