shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He felt like a one man threesome
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
