Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
