when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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