And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
