Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
