I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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