If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Bring me that man meat
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
