how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
