Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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