I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
