Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
then he tried to convert me to islam
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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