We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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