I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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