I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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