Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm too high and old for this...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
